tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72566840914795657332024-02-06T18:20:11.033-08:00Walking in Wooden ShoesEricahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-74527127755989131072014-04-15T14:51:00.002-07:002014-07-21T10:20:56.284-07:00A Good Gift<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXrq8ZBNiXFvil82MLRIc4wV3Je5ckh59ZWYFWLS1189rOPNILN2g6cNopXQ5lk9W2pqvL2KaMVOfenGCcn7iOT4OJRaAlOirM75DxzLejRc86vrUUrnZ7khQYaw9EotH3XNUU0AtnAQ/s1600/DSC01351.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXrq8ZBNiXFvil82MLRIc4wV3Je5ckh59ZWYFWLS1189rOPNILN2g6cNopXQ5lk9W2pqvL2KaMVOfenGCcn7iOT4OJRaAlOirM75DxzLejRc86vrUUrnZ7khQYaw9EotH3XNUU0AtnAQ/s1600/DSC01351.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great with Child: My Body at its Finest</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
body is a gift, a good gift. Though not a gift I’ve taken care of and
treasured. Rather, I’ve neglected and mistreated it, then cursed the gift
giver. As though it was God’s fault. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
word for 2014 is FREEDOM! God has helped me break free of many chains: guilt,
shame, perfectionism. I knew this one was coming. It’s been a prison of my own
making, going on 20 years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Growing
up, I was active and athletic (though not terribly coordinated). I valued my
body and took care of it. I appreciated it for what it could do, much more than
how it looked. I even enjoyed bathing suit shopping! Not because I was a waif.
I’ve always had a sturdy frame. God blessed me with fleshy arms and generous
thighs. Perfect for staying grounded, and hugging wholeheartedly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When I went to college, my own apartment felt like freedom. When it came to food, it was really
bondage, in disguise. I ate nothing but junk: cheesy doritos, frozen pizza,
macaroni and cheese, french fries, Ben & Jerry’s. There wasn’t a single
fruit or vegetable in my shopping cart. I gained at least 15 pounds that first summer. Which is a lot on my little 5’ frame. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As
I gained weight, I felt less than. Old messages that fat was bad, ugly, and
shameful, danced in my mind. Rather than losing the weight I’d put on, I became
indignant and gained even more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
rejection I experienced while overweight fueled my deep seeded fear: I’m not
enough. Not worthy of love and affection. The worse I felt about myself, the
more I ate. The more I ate, the worse I felt. It’s a toxic cycle. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Through
the years, I’ve played with getting healthy. I’ve lost a lot of weight. But
taking up less space on this earth doesn’t automatically heal the hurts. Flogging
myself and shaming my back fat doesn’t inspire lasting change. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eventually,
life happens. When you seek comfort in food, there’s always a reason to eat:
deployments, special needs, PCS moves, loss and grief. Life’s too hard. I’m too
sad. Before I know it, a DQ Blizzard for dinner seems like an acceptable
choice. The weight returns, with shame in tow.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Fast
forward to this past weekend. I had an incredible day with my family. Then saw
photos of myself. From behind, no less. As I looked at myself, all the joy
drained out of me. Harsh, judgmental thoughts rushed into my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Rather
than camping there, I let the grace of God wash over me. Oh, don’t get me
wrong. I had a pity party first. Then I picked myself up
and remembered that my size is a reflection of my choices, not my worth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">God loves me exactly as I am. He also loves me too much to leave me in bondage. I
am choosing to believe that I am who He says I am, and that through Him all
things are possible. Old baggage and excess weight don’t serve me anymore.
I have a race to run!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So,
I’m grabbing this bull by the horns. I’m embracing my
I-can-do-anything-I-put-my-mind-to attitude. It’s not about skinny. It’s about
healthy and strong. It’s about conquering fears and dismantling lies. It’s
about taking care of, and treasuring, the gift. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, <a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com </a></span></div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-91006202180852935432014-04-08T08:34:00.000-07:002014-07-21T10:24:24.163-07:00End of My Rope- My Messy Beautiful<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrAKm36dTdBJiip-0uIkASd65_kpCETHeynazXXhrBhoJCmts9m1-D5yhjkOCxECJ8Fq7sycK6lLRbbloeezqOUegYxM_02enJRsRlCqNb_cVLWK5Q4Rg6dlRhJk3S5N9RKOXNtIuSdQU/s1600/DSC01767_2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrAKm36dTdBJiip-0uIkASd65_kpCETHeynazXXhrBhoJCmts9m1-D5yhjkOCxECJ8Fq7sycK6lLRbbloeezqOUegYxM_02enJRsRlCqNb_cVLWK5Q4Rg6dlRhJk3S5N9RKOXNtIuSdQU/s1600/DSC01767_2.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I feel like a horrible mom. It’s only 7:20am, and I am
quickly approaching my wit’s end. After a long week of interrupted sleep, sick
kids, and plans thrown out the window, I am desperate for some peace. Instead,
I lie in bed and listen to brothers bickering in the playroom across the hall. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When they awoke at 6:00am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, I set them up with
cartoons and climbed back into bed, hoping for a little more rest. No such
luck! Now they’re climbing all over me and what is precious and heart-warming
most days is grating on my last nerve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I adore these <a href="http://walkinginwoodenshoes.blogspot.com/2014/02/one.html" target="_blank">children</a>. But seven days of constant
interaction and neediness has taken its toll. As I sit in my bedroom chair
reading my devotional, Little Man climbs into my lap with a steady stream of
questions, and Big Guy laughs and squeals in the chair across from me. I can’t
even read my bible in peace! Let alone, use the toilet or change my clothes or speak
to their father. I escape to the front porch to pray, and have a 5 year old in my
lap within 90 seconds. I lie down on my bedroom floor to cry, and my 7 year old
finds me hiding between my dresser and my bed. His daddy invited him to help in the garage, and, even with tools in-hand, he ditches guy time to find me. I’m
about to lose my ever-loving mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My husband sees the desperation in my face and lovingly
instructs me to shower and then leave. It’s clear I’ve reached the end of my
rope. “Just please call me if you start thinking you don’t ever want to
return,” he said. “That would be a problem!” I laugh and assure him, I’ll be
back…eventually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have a horrible habit of neglecting myself in service to
those around me. I pour myself out, caring for my family, at the expense of
myself. I put my needs on the back burner and before I know it, my tone becomes
harsh and I feel like I’m suffocating under the weight of my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What’s more, I have a hard time asking for help. The
self-sufficient, over-achiever in me rears her ugly head and I buy into the lie
that a “good mom” could handle my life. I fear I’m being selfish if I take time
to myself, outside of the acceptable outings: church, bible study, an
occasional date night. It’s crazy talk! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The challenges of motherhood are great. The never-ending,
thankless tasks of laundry, cooking, and dishes are enough to suck the life
right out of me. There are no year-end bonuses or accolades for keeping my family alive and loving them well. No atta-girls for tirelessly wiping bottoms
and sweeping crumbs. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Usually, the joys of motherhood outweigh the challenges.
Until I drain myself dry. My kids don’t need a martyr. They need a mom who
takes care of herself, so she has something to give.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As I step into the shower, I remember that even Jesus needed
time away from the masses: from those he loved and instructed, healed and
restored.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He prayed and sought God and
was refreshed and renewed. The mommy guilt washes away with the water, and I
thank God that my <a href="http://walkinginwoodenshoes.blogspot.com/2013/06/boy-in-black-shorts.html" target="_blank">hubby</a> is here to help. I leave our children in his very
capable hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As I stroll through Williams Sonoma, soaking in the grown-up
surroundings, I feel tension leaving my body. I browse cookbooks, delight in
beautiful table settings, and bask in the luxury of an unhurried pace. As I
quiet my mind, I make room for God to speak. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When I try on clothes at the store next door, He reminds me
that I am wholly and dearly loved: exactly as I am, today. He fills my cup with
His truth and the lies lose their power. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I fill my shopping cart with ripe produce and revel in the
goodness of dinner from the deli case. Only a mom of little ones is this excited about grocery shopping alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">By the time I return home, I am at peace and my heart
overflows with love. I’m greeted with great enthusiasm and return love to them in equal
measure. This is the mom I want to be. This is who I am, when I take time for
myself. I am a mom with untiring patience and determined perseverance. I am a mom who delights in my children, who shares adoring glances with my
husband, wondering how we got so lucky. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am a mom who takes care
of myself, so that I have more than enough to give.</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, <a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com</a></span></span></div>
</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #656565; font-family: Helvetica, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><em>This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, <a href="http://momastery.com/messy-beautiful-warrior-instructions/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #009abc; font-size: 12px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Messy Beautiful Warrior Project Instructions">CLICK HERE! </a>And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, <a href="http://momastery.com/carry-on-warrior/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #009abc; font-size: 12px; font: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life">CLICK HERE!</a></em></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-85756459608364562792014-04-02T06:20:00.001-07:002014-07-21T10:26:08.423-07:00Just the Beginning<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC5uzIThuSAhNW0v7jvlgKRXQNqKccE07I4zb-UY88y23348K1oDdhfe-9ldh6bmbmDsvu8KQzfCM23gU9M4ZubVmE0B6Mi1Mq25rpd6UehWMSworwX-1gHN1jDfIBK3eYtdD4cn48Tfg/s1600/DSC_9845_2_2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC5uzIThuSAhNW0v7jvlgKRXQNqKccE07I4zb-UY88y23348K1oDdhfe-9ldh6bmbmDsvu8KQzfCM23gU9M4ZubVmE0B6Mi1Mq25rpd6UehWMSworwX-1gHN1jDfIBK3eYtdD4cn48Tfg/s1600/DSC_9845_2_2.JPG" height="400" width="291" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s
been 3 years since we received Big Guy’s <a href="http://walkinginwoodenshoes.blogspot.com/2014/02/one.html" target="_blank">autism diagnosis</a>. I didn’t think I
would cry today, which is incredibly naïve. Of course I’m crying! It’s what I
do. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 19px;">Three
years ago, my tears were a result of shock and fear and hopelessness. Today, I know
more; my tears are simply an expression of overwhelming love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">We were
smitten with Big Guy before he was even born. His daddy would kiss my belly
each day, telling him how much we loved him and urging him to grow big and
strong. When we first laid eyes on him, we were goners. He was the most
beautiful sight we’d ever seen. As he grew, we found him to be joyful,
animated, easy going, affectionate. We were delighted by each new discovery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">When Big
Guy was a baby, he would lie on his back and flap his arms and legs like he was
trying to fly. He would squeal with delight as he flapped. We’d never seen
anything like it, but none of the other new parents around us thought it was odd.
We know now that he was stimming: which is a repetitive behavior associated
with autism. Since Big Guy is also diagnosed with sensory processing disorder,
it’s possible his flapping was sensory-seeking as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">When Big
Guy became mobile, he found new outlets for his energy: toe walking for sensory
input; racing back and forth in the house, literally bouncing off the walls as
he reached them; jumping up and down and squealing as he watched cartoons, etc.
At 7, he still engages in these activities. Watching TV is an aerobic event for
Big Guy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">As a
baby, Big Guy babbled and cooed and smiled, right on track. But he was slow to
develop words. Truthfully, we anticipated so many of his needs, that little
communication was required. Once mobile, he would express his wants and needs
by leading us to what he wanted and pointing or manipulating our hands to get
it. He’d take us to the fridge and place our hand on the door handle, for
example. When a friend gave us some fabulous Baby Signing Time DVDs for Big
Guy’s second birthday, signing allowed him to express himself without having to
drag us around the house. Eventually, he began speaking in two word phrases,
and we were ecstatic! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">Big Guy
interacted with us so much to get his needs met, that we didn’t realize he
failed to interact for the joy of interacting. As a toddler, he wanted to be
near us, but was content to play on his own. As he accomplished things, he
didn’t seek us out to share in his achievement. We didn’t hear the typical
“look at me!” requests as he played and he certainly wasn’t creating things and
bringing them to us for praise. As parents, we initiated the social interaction
and delighted in our sweet boy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I give
you this glimpse of our life because I believe autism awareness is far bigger
than knowing the most recent statistics. Yes, the CDC just released new
numbers. Two years ago, 1 in 88 people were diagnosed with autism. Now, the
rates are 1 in 68. That’s a 30% increase in just two years. Those numbers
represent real people! Real people, like my adorable boy. As the rates rise,
the odds are greater that each of us will know and love someone on the autism
spectrum. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">Perhaps
you’ve heard the word autism, but you don’t really know what it is. Fair
enough. I didn’t either, until we received our first diagnosis. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">Autism
Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurological disorder that involves
difficulties with repetitive behaviors, communication, and social interaction,
to greater or lesser degrees. How those difficulties manifest is different for
each person. I gave you an idea of what it looked like for Big Guy in my
description above. But keep in mind, when you’ve met one person with autism,
you’ve done just that. Each person is unique. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">When Big
Guy was diagnosed, the psychologist told me that autism is not a dead-end
diagnosis. Which means, there’s no end to a person’s potential. We can’t
predict the future for Big Guy, any more than we know how it will unfold for
any of us. But we do know early intervention (therapies) makes a huge
difference. These therapies give our loved ones the tools they need to succeed
in our neuro-typical world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">When our
kiddos are typical, we can teach them through our example. They learn to
interact socially and communicate by observing us. The skills come naturally.
When our kiddos are autistic, it’s not quite that simple. Their brains are
wired differently, so we need to teach differently. The sooner we understand
that a child has a neurological difference, the sooner we can reach them
effectively. It’s maddening to try harder and wonder why your kiddo isn’t
“getting it.” I imagine it’s equally as frustrating for the child! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">When we
get an autism diagnosis, we can bring all the resources to bear; a whole world
of specialists opens up to us. Our kiddos may qualify for early intervention at
home or in a preschool setting. Big Guy benefitted from both. He also received
speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">After
the autism diagnosis, Big Guy became eligible for behavior therapy too. Through
ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis), we’ve tackled skills like: impulse control (not
darting into the street), accepting “no,” waiting, potty training and other
self-help skills, transitioning from a preferred activity, taking turns,
answering personal information questions, like “what’s your name?” and “how old
are you?” and other age-appropriate social skills. <a href="http://walkinginwoodenshoes.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-scare.html" target="_blank">ABA</a> has made a dramatic
difference in Big Guy’s ability to interact with the world around him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">Last
night, Big Guy awoke at 3:00am and pounced happily onto my bed. When I groggily
marched him back to his room and tucked him in bed, he looked at me with a
downcast face and said, “I’m sad.” I hugged him and validated his feelings with
a simple, “I know buddy.” As I turned to walk away, he said, “I want to play
with you, and you want to sleep.” My heart about leapt from my chest. It seems
like yesterday that we were ecstatic over his two word utterances. Now, three
years after diagnosis, my sweet boy is communicating complex thoughts and interacting
socially, for the joy of it!! He has worked hard and grown so much! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I pray that when a
parent musters up the courage to admit they have concerns about their child’s
development, their friends and family would encourage them to trust
their gut and seek answers. An autism diagnosis isn’t the end. In many
respects, it’s just the beginning. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, <a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com</a></span></div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-88569202008874274992014-03-10T07:32:00.000-07:002014-07-21T10:27:17.509-07:00I Surrender!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9iVcNGvY-Wxv9a13vUMOngDxCibddhUyAGPeVj9M1up47T6YT8ejxJwFnEaT5t7v2RRwJSmxRxuqv9RZvmu54yz2hsYu7nwoLOdMmOYyfmmAlo2O5WHP9NTzzkYv67BrB7cTNQBVxyxc/s1600/DSC05970.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9iVcNGvY-Wxv9a13vUMOngDxCibddhUyAGPeVj9M1up47T6YT8ejxJwFnEaT5t7v2RRwJSmxRxuqv9RZvmu54yz2hsYu7nwoLOdMmOYyfmmAlo2O5WHP9NTzzkYv67BrB7cTNQBVxyxc/s1600/DSC05970.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
attended an incredible women’s conference on Saturday: It’s Your Day, put on by
Savannah Christian Church. After the first session, we were invited outside for
a snack break in a beautiful, historic Savannah square. As I gathered up my bag
to head outside, a song began playing that stopped me in my tracks. I knew God
was speaking to me, inviting me in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I told
my friends to go on without me and I dropped to my seat, in search of my prayer
request card. As the familiar lyrics softened my heart, I read the prompts. “How
can we pray for you?” it asked. My first response was to write about someone
dear to me, but the next question asked about whom else I’d like lifted in
prayer. So, I got honest about the deepest desire of my own heart: that I would
have the confidence to do what God asks of me. He’s been asking for a while,
and I’ve all but ignored him, dragging my precious little feet. The third
question asked “What do you hope God will do in/for you today?” I wrote, “That
He would set me free!” Then I remembered that He already did. I’m the one who
holds on to the chains. So, I added, “That I would be set free from my fear.” I
tucked my pen in my purse, and tried to shield my tear-streaked face from the
women in front of me as I soaked in the last of the song.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">The more I seek you, the more I
find you<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">The more I find you, the more I
love you<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I want to sit at your feet, drink
from the cup in your hand<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">Lay back against you and breathe,
feel your heartbeat<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">This love is so deep, it’s more
than I can stand<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I melt in your peace, it’s
overwhelming<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNxUaqr25pbURuylLS_zSmzzJnaMa9AoZx0A3SaquuRQZfkwFTSi6fYD9QrODJtDjQkHdVDy6Ys4kTUdCIyE5k-3ISA4v5AJFhXbojEzkmQEQR_W3PL3kSoh3j-TznejS4JHe6BbXED58/s1600/IMG_1608.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNxUaqr25pbURuylLS_zSmzzJnaMa9AoZx0A3SaquuRQZfkwFTSi6fYD9QrODJtDjQkHdVDy6Ys4kTUdCIyE5k-3ISA4v5AJFhXbojEzkmQEQR_W3PL3kSoh3j-TznejS4JHe6BbXED58/s1600/IMG_1608.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I made
my way up the aisle of the historic theatre, gave my prayer requests to the
volunteer, and found my friends on a wooden park bench. We had all been wowed
by the first session about Sitting at the Rabbi’s Feet, and eagerly returned to
hear Jen Hatmaker speak about Loving Your Neighbor. It was refreshing to hear
someone speak so honestly and so passionately about her life and her love for
Jesus and His people. She added insight to scripture passages I’ve heard many
times before, and brought them to life in a meaningful, relevant way. But, hear
me on this: I was equally moved by how she embraces who God created her to be.
She’s unapologetically herself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">As the
second session came to a close, the worship leaders returned to the stage. We
were directed towards the white cloths in our gift bags, and invited to hold
them up to God in surrender, if the Spirit led. I knew instantly that I’d be
bawling my way through the song. And that was the good news! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I can’t
even tell you what the song was. It was beautiful and impactful and on-topic. I
even sang along, arms lifted high in freedom. But I only had ears for God. And
He had plenty to say! “Just BE who I made you to be. Don’t worry about doing it
wrong. I made you the way you are on purpose. Embrace ALL of it! Don’t worry
that you stand out from the crowd. Do what I call YOU to do. It may not be what
I call others to do. Or, maybe it is and they aren’t obeying me either. Just
keep your eyes focused on me! Do the things that make YOU come alive. I gave
you those desires. I am with you, and I am for you!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">I stood
in awe. When I wrote those prayer requests earlier, they were about the nagging
desire God put on my heart to share my journey, through this blog. I feel
called to bare my soul and live transparently, and that’s a scary proposition
when I’ve spent so much of my life hiding: behind my over-achieving, my
busy-ness, and food (to name a few).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;">As I
allowed God to minister to my heart, He reminded me that I am writing for an
audience of one: Him. What He does with it is out of my control. I’m simply
called to obey. So, here I am, God, with my heart on my sleeve. I surrender!
Use me, Lord.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, <a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com</a></span></div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-66571644177099847162014-02-28T18:29:00.000-08:002014-07-21T10:28:32.831-07:00One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Two years ago today, we received Little Man's autism diagnosis. And I was shocked. We truly didn't suspect autism. Sure, I took him to be evaluated, but I was really just being safe, ruling it out. After all, we got Big Brother's autism diagnosis just 10 months earlier. So, we knew what autism looked like. Right? </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimx2yEXAqQV8p9rTDGsT_NyUOOeD-RJmcNUNzzoFA3t9R79IRdexaahbrtf0GjUM0xWbqhYK88x0EaIv_xcwOrNpuUBkb2eN_idV8gZrfcvUaCe82GOs5-tPLlc-2ZGHNA7sZz7rjmrU/s1600/9+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimx2yEXAqQV8p9rTDGsT_NyUOOeD-RJmcNUNzzoFA3t9R79IRdexaahbrtf0GjUM0xWbqhYK88x0EaIv_xcwOrNpuUBkb2eN_idV8gZrfcvUaCe82GOs5-tPLlc-2ZGHNA7sZz7rjmrU/s1600/9+copy.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's been said that, when you've met one person with autism, you've done just that; you've met one person with autism. Like all people, my boys are fearfully and wonderfully made. They were each given unique characteristics, personalities, strengths and challenges. So, despite the commonalities of the diagnosis, autism looks different in each of them. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We knew something was different about Big Brother from a very early age. He was a happy, laid back, affectionate baby. He would get so excited that he'd lay on his back, flapping his arms and legs as he squealed with delight. Hubby was in flight school at the time, so we joked that our sweet baby was attempting to fly. We'd never seen anything like it, but none of our friends or doctors thought it odd. He also seemed to take his time with some of the developmental milestones: walking, talking, etc. Then again, we were surrounded by baby girls. What did we know? By 18 months, we were certain that his speech was delayed. Unfortunately, it wasn't delayed enough to qualify for therapy. So, we waited 6 months and the gap grew. At two, you're expected to do more, and he couldn't. So, finally, his early intervention began. Over time, we identified sensory challenges and added occupational therapy to the mix. We visited a developmental pediatrician and after our first two hour visit, she diagnosed him with Global Developmental Delays and Expressive/Receptive Communication Disorder. Course of treatment: continue with early intervention, return for follow up in 6 months. So, we did. Believing that eventually he'd catch up. </span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifKu6PacaxYEsnDC6ucw625gDoUuAbdZfMJiqxRpRfygH3wTWTHW5N55AhqKC8VYDMNVWVzGNXZXRw4cwANg3D9UBg8nekeqcpTYWOnHb-olHY8P5hJKtnC4YOSMR2vl7ers3dcqnkg3k/s1600/DSC01465.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifKu6PacaxYEsnDC6ucw625gDoUuAbdZfMJiqxRpRfygH3wTWTHW5N55AhqKC8VYDMNVWVzGNXZXRw4cwANg3D9UBg8nekeqcpTYWOnHb-olHY8P5hJKtnC4YOSMR2vl7ers3dcqnkg3k/s1600/DSC01465.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Meeting Baby Brother</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Little Man came into the world full of determination, which is an awfully good trait for a little brother. He was much more particular about his desired proximity to mommy, and his development seemed more on-track. But what did we know? We didn't have a good benchmark for typical. Though we had ruled out genetic abnormalities in brother, we stayed on top of Little Man's developmental screenings. We had him screened every 6 months, like clockwork. At 18 months, he was exceeding milestones. The following year, he was still meeting them, but his pace had slowed. 6 months after that, he had fallen behind. Again, not behind enough to qualify for services. We really weren't worried. After all, he was talking up a storm, and he didn't seem to struggle like his big brother. My, how ignorance is bliss!</span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqGxyk21jnRTyRfaIUE005UoomNlWw3u-kGjDl9kZ2rjPT4oT0oea5rpmFjM7JPpimGT90OUg7W8kuzKkVX12zHLF5iNVz1VO66AWdcaCBaqJlJ-TrdpM1yWFglC13c6Cezyhfmvi23OY/s1600/DSC00376.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqGxyk21jnRTyRfaIUE005UoomNlWw3u-kGjDl9kZ2rjPT4oT0oea5rpmFjM7JPpimGT90OUg7W8kuzKkVX12zHLF5iNVz1VO66AWdcaCBaqJlJ-TrdpM1yWFglC13c6Cezyhfmvi23OY/s1600/DSC00376.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The Boys at the time Big Brother was Diagnosed</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After our firstborn turned three, he transitioned from early intervention at home to a preschool setting. We also started private speech therapy. After a year of therapy, our insurance company needed us to justify our need for services. Since the developmental pediatrician wrote the referral, we needed a copy of her records. She was on maternity leave, but her office was happy to help. As I was reviewing her notes, I was stunned to find a comment about "observing for high functioning autism." Not only had she failed to mention it to us, but she had actually dismissed the idea at one point. So, I never read up on autism. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When I mentioned the remark at a preschool meeting, the team asked if we'd like to have him evaluated. When I agreed, they leapt into action as though they'd been waiting for me to ask. They were able to get us an appointment with the psychologist pretty quickly. In preparation for our appointment, we were asked to complete some paperwork. Just a few questions into the evaluation form, I began to cry. I wondered, "how did they know?" The questions described my son to a T. I was so upset that I hadn't read up on autism sooner. There was little question in my mind. Global Development Delays failed to capture the full picture; my son had Autism Spectrum Disorder. Upon formal evaluation, the psychologist confirmed what I already knew. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT0eBOEf5lltDdLB820YNfKkogpBqnrsx6W0kCjQymn_AyR-1gQ0kpxEP_fz-YM5CN8Vk1OHzjFDYUj-sd-huNdeEQau5bMzRlTmTjcjrphg2hRQqBgvjnUSKf1drfKrITkzmCei-qNjw/s1600/DSC03451.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT0eBOEf5lltDdLB820YNfKkogpBqnrsx6W0kCjQymn_AyR-1gQ0kpxEP_fz-YM5CN8Vk1OHzjFDYUj-sd-huNdeEQau5bMzRlTmTjcjrphg2hRQqBgvjnUSKf1drfKrITkzmCei-qNjw/s1600/DSC03451.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The Week Little Brother was Diagnosed</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As I struggled to get additional therapies and services in place, I met with the psychologist to better understand the diagnosis. Then I began to see her to sort through my own feelings and fears. Since my youngest son only attended German Kindergarten part day, sometimes he came to the appointments with me. As we talked, the psychologist sometimes asked questions like, "does he always...?" or "does he ever...?" It raised a red flag in my mind. Around the same time, his teacher commented that he didn't make much eye contact with her. I could have written it off as a result of their language barrier, but I knew better. When I saw the psychologist again, I asked her if she suspected autism in my youngest son as well. Indeed, she did. We agreed that it would be best for us to travel to the major medical facility a few hours away, to get an objective evaluation. Over the course of two days, we met with a team, including our developmental pediatrician, a child psychologist, and a speech therapist. On Feb 28, 2012 the pediatrician called to let me know the results of the ADOS (Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule). </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Though they appear so different, the boys were given the same diagnosis: PDD-NOS (an Autism Spectrum Disorder). My oldest son was 4 years 8 months when he was diagnosed, while my youngest was only 3 years 2 months. Though life doesn't look the way we imagined, you can be sure no children have ever been more loved. I hope that you'll stick around to see what autism looks like for us. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, <a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com</a></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-size: x-large;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-60485478953004482452013-07-02T07:42:00.000-07:002014-07-21T10:29:45.331-07:00The Scare<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRjD26gA6izxLFnU523EYp_LCcfD7g35IY4D2-Fogk35Q16Jdri6MciPdHLyVMUbSswrazU5EO6Y4xrq9rM8vv0-1t7El2B09MxC6KiA5TB99aKkDXAOvYtSoR4pwain7QgEkwj0YLiVM/s1600/DSC00527.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRjD26gA6izxLFnU523EYp_LCcfD7g35IY4D2-Fogk35Q16Jdri6MciPdHLyVMUbSswrazU5EO6Y4xrq9rM8vv0-1t7El2B09MxC6KiA5TB99aKkDXAOvYtSoR4pwain7QgEkwj0YLiVM/s1600/DSC00527.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Helping Himself to Ice Cream, Two Years Earlier</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Yesterday was a typical day at our house. Until it wasn't. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After 4 hours of ABA therapy and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, the boys were enjoying some down time in the playroom. As I walked up the stairs to round up the boys for speech therapy, I heard Little Man crying. I assumed the boys were fighting again, as siblings do. My jaw tensed as the "how many times do I have to tell you to play nicely" expression found its way to my face. Imagine my surprise as I entered the playroom and saw Big Brother playing happily by himself. My eyes scanned the room, to find the source of Little Man's tears...and then my heart stopped. I screamed something into the phone at my sister and threw it down as I sprinted to the window. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">From the far side of the playroom, I couldn't fully process what was happening, but I knew Little Man was in trouble. He had dragged his green Stokke chair from the therapy table and appeared to be looking out the window. As I approached, I saw that the cord to the blinds was tied tightly around his neck. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As I lifted him into the air and felt how tightly the cord was wound, I screamed to Big Brother to go get scissors. This plea for help was a longshot. It's only recently that this precious 6 year old boy has been able to follow directions to help mommy with simple, familiar tasks. Calmly requested. In the same room. Sure, he knows where the scissors are located. Downstairs. In the drawer he isn't supposed to access without help. So, off he ran. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As my youngest screamed, I lifted him higher into the air with my left arm and created enough slack to begin untying the cord with my right. I'm pretty sure I was screaming and chastising him as I worked. Effective, I know. But I was petrified and operating on adrenaline. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Once free, I gathered him to my chest and collapsed onto a bench. I inspected his neck and felt great relief. His skin was abraded, leaving a thick red mark around most of his neck, but the wound appeared superficial. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Big Brother arrived with scissors in hand, pride exuding from his sweet face. I praised him and sent him on his next mission. I asked him to please get brother's water bottle, which should have been downstairs on the breakfast table. "Ay Ay, Sir!" he barked as he hustled down the stairs. (It's a familiar script from a favorite cartoon.) A few minutes later, I heard my oldest approaching. He was scripting about needing a towel. I was a bit confused, until he entered the room. Apparently Little Brother's camelback bottle was missing, so Big Brother grabbed a small open cup and filled it with water from the front of the fridge. Sounds simple enough. Except it's not a task he's ever done. He understood the urgency and rose to the occasion. Then he happily fetched a towel and cleaned up the sloshed water. This mama was so proud!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As I comforted Little Man, I began processing the event. I prayed aloud, thanking God for his grace and mercy. Both he and I were calm enough now to speak reasonably, so I explained what he inherently knew. That was dangerous and we were very, very lucky. I told him that God was with him, even as mommy was on the other side of the house. And I explained that had he died, he would have been in heaven with Jesus, but mommy wouldn't have ever seen him again on earth. And I began to bawl. I had been operating in shock, but both of the boys needed to see how sad and scared their mommy really was. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">It's difficult to know how much the boys understand about life and death and danger. They're both young and autistic, and as such, struggle mightily with impulse control. For example, they run into the street with no appreciation of the consequences. So we practice walking safely and rehash the dangers every time we go outside. And all goes well, until a bird flies by and my oldest son is gone baby gone. But more on that another day. I knew I had to seize this teachable moment about life and death, as melodramatic as it may have seemed. I'm pretty sure they got it. But I'll be further securing the curtain cords on all 24 windows anyway. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I share this story and open my family up to scrutiny in hopes that it will save another family the heartache we experienced, or worse. We have more security measures in place than you could shake a stick at. And still, this happened. My tiny little 37" peanut pushed that heavy chair across the room, and was able to reach the loose strings far above his typical reach. It's anybody's guess what make believe scenario he was playing out at the time. Nor does it matter. If it happened to us, it could happen to anyone. Please don't let it be you.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Though my little guy appeared to be ok, I heeded my husband's advice and took him to the ER to be sure. His urging was echoed by my dad who reminded me "better safe than sorry." The pediatrician checked him out and assured me that aside from the obvious abrasion, Little Man was well. There was no indication of cervical spine, vascular, or larynx damage. Thank you, God!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am so grateful for the friends and family members who rallied around us with prayer support and hands-on help. Our favorite caregiver left work early to stay with Big Brother, so we didn't roll up to the ER as a full 3-ring circus. And another friend met me there, so I wouldn't have to endure the wait and potential news alone. Several others were willing to drop everything to help. And countless more, located hundreds or thousands of miles away offered words of wisdom, comfort and prayer. Including my poor husband in Afghanistan, who stayed awake until well after 4:00am to hear word that his son was ok. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">But by the grace of God.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, <a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com</a></span></div>
Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7256684091479565733.post-49870599852957181412013-06-21T18:07:00.000-07:002014-07-21T10:31:10.478-07:00Boy in the Black Shorts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4VRULyZYg6tVof2CHVvMFcD427dIi7yqW1RaMPqbucsJ0TGtXLxoKUKol2xziYTG41vpj98AMF9pqARzobPbFajVfo4aL7fnuauW4zL8L31podH-UFsIe2x2nLIFxSCUXRY5y8MUTYg0/s1600/1+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4VRULyZYg6tVof2CHVvMFcD427dIi7yqW1RaMPqbucsJ0TGtXLxoKUKol2xziYTG41vpj98AMF9pqARzobPbFajVfo4aL7fnuauW4zL8L31podH-UFsIe2x2nLIFxSCUXRY5y8MUTYg0/s1600/1+copy.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This morning, I awoke full of sunshine and possibility. Gratitude will do that. As I stretched, face down in my pillow, I thanked God for my amazing husband. I met him 22 years ago, today. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">June 21, 1991 was a pivotal day in my life. When I walked into my best friend's backyard, I saw a group of guys playing "Navy Seals" in her pool. They were JROTC cadets, so a simple game of Marco Polo wouldn't do. As John jumped off the diving rock, I asked my friend about the boy in the black shorts. The sight of him made my heart flutter. He surfaced in the pool, gazed into my green eyes, and my world has never been the same. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This afternoon, my husband called me from Afghanistan. Those were the best 7 minutes of my day. We reminisced about the first time we laid eyes on each other and how we never could have guessed where our path would lead. We only knew we wanted to walk it together. </span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">Please visit me at my new blog, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.ericaaklan.com/" target="_blank">www.ericaaklan.com</a></span></div>
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<br />Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971259414351938134noreply@blogger.com4